A Serious Tutorial for a Parent in the
New Millennium
Written,
composed, and edited by Stephen Uffelman.
Table
of Contents:
I.
Introduction
II.
Restricting Online Activity
(A General Overview)
III.
The Do’s and Don’ts
IV.
Profane Spam and How to Stop
It (Managing Their Email)
V.
Instant Messaging and
Chatting with Strangers
1.
Protecting Your Child
2.
Protecting Your Personal Information
VI.
How to Expose an Online
Faker
1.
Techniques
2.
Case Study Example
VII.
Contact Information and
Sponsors.
I.
Introduction:
If you are like most parents in
America, your children are more proficient than you at operating a tool we are
all familiar with, the Internet. As online-ready devices proliferate and a
steadily climbing technological climate continues to do just that, the most
popular and efficient way to share information through digital devices; most of
these devices will involve the Internet. As the Internet becomes more involved
in the workplace, it is appropriate that schools educate students on how to use
the Internet to their advantage. Thus, your children are going through thorough
training in a worldwide technology, which using is foreign to you. This guide
is a tool for protecting your children from the Internet, while not restricting
opportunities that may become available to them. This document is intended to
be a guide, written with a thorough knowledge of the Internet and how to make
sure your children are where they are supposed to be.
II. Restricting Online Activity (A
General Overview)
It is very important to make sure
that your children are safe on the Internet. If as a parent you are uninformed
of the way the Internet works, this section of the Tutorial will be
exceptionally helpful. The easiest thing for a parent to do to protect their
children from the Internet is to ban its use; this is absolutely the wrong
approach. Many opportunities will be available to your children when they use
the Internet, which you never had.
Instead, the best idea is to find
out what Internet sites your children visit, and also to monitor who they are
talking to while Instant Messaging their friends. Their visitation of recent
Internet sites can be seen in all versions of Windows. When using Internet
Explorer, simply click on the icon in the menu bar with a sundial that says
“History” beneath it (Win. 95, 98, 2000, ME) or the icon that looks like a
clock with an arrow pointing counter clockwise which will say “History” if you
rest your mouse cursor over it (Win. XP). There will be a side menu which
displays the recent sites visited on this computer. If you do not see any
sites, or you want to clear the History, use this button path to change your
Internet Options, which contain History Preferences.
For
Windows 95, 98, 2002, ME…
My
Computer > Control Panel > Internet Options… (History Preferences at the
bottom).
For
Windows XP…
Start
> Control Panel > Internet Options… (History Preferences at the bottom).
By changing your History
Preferences, you can choose how long the History files will be kept in your
system and you can clear all the existing History files here. If your children
know about this option, they will have only erased the History if they have
something to hide. If pornographic or other profane material is seen in this
History list, it does not necessarily mean that your child has been viewing
this material. There is always the possibility of pop-up Internet ads adding
their existence to your registry. Do not convict your child of disobeying you
unless there is an extraordinary amount of information on the list. For
regulating who they talk to on their Instant Messaging program see our section “Instant
Messaging and Chatting with Strangers.”
III. The Do’s and Don’ts
When children are online, there are
several things they should always do and not do. It is important to you as a
parent to have them know what these things are and to follow them strictly.
Tell
your children to…
·
if anyone, through email or
Instant Messaging, tries to acquire personal information from him or her,
inform you, or your spouse right away and do not continue the conversation any
further.
·
never reveal information
that might enable a stranger to locate any member of your family such as
address, phone number, street name, etc.
·
never open an email from
someone they do not know personally; those emails could contain viruses or
profane material.
·
never enable a “Direct
Connection” or accept an incoming file from someone they do no know personally.
·
Abide by any other
guidelines you choose to establish as a parent.
All
these rules protect your privacy while using the Internet, and if you child
follows all these rules, then they will be in no danger while using the
Internet.
IV. Profane Spam and How to Stop It
(Managing Their Email)
Just as in every other media, there
is advertising. The methods chosen by Internet companies is a totally different
matter though. Spam is a term used to describe the electronic “junk mail” you
receive when you have an email account, much like junk mail you would get in an
address mailbox. This Spam will fill up your child’s email account very quickly
if it is not handled properly. There are options in most email agents to
“block” certain senders from delivering mail to your Inbox. This will help
decrease the number of Spam messages your child receives; simply have them
“block” the sender, rather than just deleting the email. A few ads from online
anti-balding medicine corporations will not affect your child… but there is
another type of Spam.
Online Pornography Sites constantly
advertise through mailing lists and Spam delivery systems. The sender will
usually show up as some girl’s name Rachel, or Suzie. If all goes to plan, you
child will not recognize these emails as personal, but advertisements, and
delete them, but if your child is trying to see this pornographic material, this
is their perfect opportunity. You must make sure that they realize that they do
not know “Raunchy Rachel” and that they must block these messages. In America
Online, if you have your parental controls settings at a lower level, AOL will
sometimes take care of this for you. However, not all messages get blocked, and
that is only on AOL. As more people upgrade to broadband connections (Cable,
DSL, etc), they will be leaving AOL’s easy-to-use mentality. When this is
accomplished, some of those family-friendly features are lost. The parental
controls are some of them.
Profane Spam will be your greatest
worry with your children through email. Here, they hold the keys; if they are
good kids, they will simply see this as another advertisement and delete and/or
block it. If they have a little more curiosity, there is really nothing you can
do but trust them and check their History (see “Restricting Online Activity
(A General Overview)” for more information). By checking their history, you
ensure that they did not look further into the pornographic email than just
opening it. They can still, get away with opening the email and maybe seeing an
ad for their site, which could contain a sampler of what they offer.
V. Instant Messaging and Chatting with
Strangers
1.
Protecting Your Child
If your child Instant Messages his
or her friends for social communication, they might also explore into other
realms of similar entertainment, such as chat rooms or talking with people they
do not know personally. If a child is finding that his or her conversations
with friends are not very interesting, it is very easy for them to enter a chat
room and discuss things with strangers that you feel are inappropriate. You can
tell your child not to enter chat rooms at all (which is usually where
strangers are met). If you walk by periodically as they Instant Message people,
and check who those people are, that would be an effective way of monitoring
their activities. If you do catch them talking with a stranger against your
request for them not to, their response will usually be, “they searched for
me,” or “they talked to me first.” That is possible, but there is a way to
prevent it from happening that you can inform your child of which will make
that excuse implausible entirely.
The only way for a stranger to find
your child’s Screen Name is for them to use an AOL / AIM feature called “Buddy
Search.” IN your child’s profile, they list their interests and hobbies; this
information is what the feature uses to locate people with interests, which you
can search for. Simply have your child deactivate this feature in their Instant
Messenger program and not list any interests in their online profile. This will
ensure that the Buddy Search will not find your child’s Screen Name and use it
to communicate with them.
2.
Protecting Your Personal Information
There are a variety of things you
child could say to reveal personal information to a complete stranger. Your
child must understand that certain things should not be told to anyone outside
of the home. For a list of suggested “private information,” see section III. The
Do’s and Don’ts.
VI. How to Expose an Online Faker
1. Techniques
Assuming you allow your children to talk with strangers
freely in chat rooms and with instant messaging, they will sometimes confront
people who say they are you child’s age, sex, or live near to you. These people
who freely divulge information are usually not who they say they are and will
take advantage of your child unless you make sure that they realize that there
are a couple ways of exposing these people.
Usually these “Fakers” will try to make themselves the same
age as your child when creating their fake identity. The solution to this is
simple… always have you child ask them all their information first and make
sure that they do not live near you, or else they could gather
information and try to eventually meet your child. Another method is to have
this person send your child a picture of them (or who they are pretending) to
be. IF they only have one picture, chances are they they’re lying because
usually people have pictures on their computer from a digital camera or
something. People who just can’t seem to get more than one picture for one
reason or another are lying.
Another method to tell from their pictures is to save the
pictures they send and examine the filename. If the filename is not some sort
of numbered software-created filename, then they might have downloaded their
picture from someone else and they are now using it as themselves. Here are some
examples of filenames:
Fakers use filenames like these – bigstud001.jpg
Goodone.bmp
Jane_atbeach.gif
Legit Internet chatters will have ones created by their
digital camera, with some sort of code in them, like these – mvc0012.jpg
Picture002.bmp
Fdl201.gif
That’s the easiest way to tell someone is using fake
pictures, which means that anything that they told you is probably all a lie.
2. Case
Study Example
This is an excerpt of an actual conversation between me and
another person I met in a chat room that turned out to be a faker. The
following text is a case study example of how to execute the techniques we
discussed in the above section. It has been edited for content so that you can
have your children read this if you wish. Fakers tend to get angry when you
expose them for what they are.
Session Start (AIM - Steve:Jenn): Tue Jan 21 18:37:21 2003
Jenn: hey I got some new pictures but u most no I died my hair blonde so I look different
Steve: that’s fine... let me see
Jenn: ok
*** Jenn wants to directly connect.
*** Jenn is now directly connected.
Steve:...
[The picture appears]
Jenn: this picture my friend took in front of her wall
Jenn: so what u think
Steve: you're cute
Jenn: thanks
Steve: your hair was blonde before though
Jenn: oh yea sorry I had it brown and I most I forgot I gave u that one because I had a brown one but I lost it
Steve: I don’t mean to be mean but... that’s a totally different person than the
Other picture... so I am thinking that you're not a very good liar
Steve: to tell you the truth
Steve: because I remember before you looked good but now it's all different
Steve: unless you got plastic surgery
Steve: well... your scam was pretty well pulled off, if I do say so myself
Steve: I have been suspicious of you from the beginning
Jenn: I am my friend tried to make me look like Christina Aguilera
Steve: you don’t need to lie anymore... its fine
Steve: sorry, but ever since your first picture said "buddypics.com" on it
Steve: and then you "lost it"
Steve: and now you look different, you're not fooling me
Jenn: what..?
Steve: I don’t hold it against you at all...
Jenn: ummmm....
Steve: sorry for being like this... but I can see it
Steve: you did well though...had me going for a while
Jenn: see what
Steve: that its a fake... you're online persona
Jenn: so what about my info
Steve: never looked at it until now... what about it?
Jenn: yea
Steve: I am not saying you're not pretty, a woman, or a cheerleader....
Just not that specific girl
Jenn: what makes me fake
Steve: your conflicting pictures... your first picture having an add at the bottom
Steve: then, you "lost it"
Jenn: like so what
Jenn: it was just till I got this picture
Jenn: that wasn’t even me but this is really me
Jenn: so I'm sorry
Steve: not falling for it
Steve: you can’t dig your way out
Steve: I can help you make better Internet lies if you want
Jenn: no thanks I already have my own
Jenn: jerk!
Steve: aright then...
Steve: have a nice day... and try and get a few pictures of the same person
Before you try multiples next time
Jenn: well u can shove it
Jenn: and if u don’t believe me go away!
Steve: oh c'mon... you need practice at faking
Jenn: faking! What! It’s all true
Jenn: you're the liar! I'm outta' here!
*** Jenn direct connection is closed.
*** Jenn signed off at Tue Jan 21 18:52:06 2003.
All the above text was actually said; hopefully if you use my techniques you can stop the business of online fakers taking us all on a virtual trip. This concludes the case study; make sure to show this to your children so they can observe the technique.
This document was written, composed, and edited by Stephen
Uffelman. If you for any reason would like to contact me, please email me at
This document was distributed by
Stephen Uffelman in collaboration with Public Mayhem Studios. For further
information, please look at their website which can be found at the following
URL:
http://publicmayhem.tripod.com
I
hope you feel more confident about your children using the Internet, thank you
and goodbye.